


i just need time.

by IvyPrincess



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:49:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21668509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvyPrincess/pseuds/IvyPrincess
Summary: even renjun can't be strong all the time.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno, Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 12
Kudos: 377





	i just need time.

It’s not hard to see that something’s wrong, not when Jeno’s been passed out on the couch for the past few days, not when Jisung’s caught Jaemin sheepishly washing a second set of sheets because he’s sleeping in his own bed again, and not when Renjun himself hasn’t been seen in three days. Oh, there’s still breakfast waiting for them whenever they wake up, the steam rising from the plates exposing how recently they must have been prepared, even though the Chinese boy isn’t in charge of breakfast, and Jaemin is now confusedly grabbing everyone’s laundry in exchange.

“Do something, hyung,” Chenle begs Donghyuck after fending off an overly affectionate Renjun finally back from practice because their second youngest is staying the night for once, Jeno and Jaemin sullen with jealousy and hurt as Renjun chooses to curl up on the couch opposite them, blatantly ignoring the space they’ve made between them on the loveseat.

What’s Donghyuck to do, though? He’s not the one who can fix it when Jaemin’s grin fades every time someone mentions his boyfriend, or when Jeno turns away every time Hyuck tries to ask about why they’re fighting, the blond’s face turned to the wall and fists clenched so tightly his veins strain outwards.

The curtains finally fall the next day.

“DO YOU EVEN LOVE US ANYMORE?” Jisung flinches into Hyuck’s shoulder as Jeno’s roar reverberates through the walls and bleeds into their living room. Sweet, sweet Jeno, with the temperament of a dopey puppy no matter how mad his boyfriend makes him, who has never once yelled at Renjun even with his short fuse for everyone else, whose voice right now sends Jaemin shooting up off the couch and flat out running for Jeno’s door at the end of the hall.

“IT’S NOT LIKE YOU EVER NEEDED ME AROUND ANYWAY!” Renjun’s hoarse scream back stops Jaemin dead in his tracks, a wild strain filled with so much grief and desperate hurt that Jeno’s stunned silence is audible. It’s the rough cry of a wild animal losing its freedom, the wail of a mother who’s lost a child, the lamenting howl of a soldier in a war zone, not a sound the boy currently wrenching the door open should be capable of making. Renjun takes one look at Jaemin’s stricken expression, a flicker of something both regretful and furious visible through his tears, and shoulders roughly past him into his own room. The slam of his door booms with a fatal finality, but Donghyuck doesn’t hear it, having long since bolted out the front door.

He gets Mark.

Mark, who’s been cooped up in the recording studio for the past few days writing something for 127, who’s worked himself to the bone again, bags under his eyes and hair greasy with sleep deprivation, who’s oblivious to the tension that’s been building in the Dream dorm, who takes one look at the panicky look in Donghyuck’s eyes and his trembling lower lip and immediately drops paper and headset to open his arms to his best friend. But Hyuck isn’t looking for a hug, tugging on the bottom of Mark’s shirt like a fearful child and Mark’s concern doubles. It’s not until they’re both out the door and walking fast, until they’re somewhere Donghyuck can feel secure enough to take a wobbly breath and let the entire situation flood out of his lungs and into the ears of someone who knows all the right things to do.

“H-hyung… please help.”

And Mark is scared, too, because the single entity that is JenoRenjunJaemin has been one of the structural constants of NCT for years, and if they’re shattered into pieces, how can anyone else try to glue them back together? He’s so tempted to get a hyung involved, he feels so unqualified to even try to begin to unravel what’s happened, but this is a Dream situation, and even if he’s technically not their leader anymore, he’s still known these boys for years. They’re his to smoothen out, and his to comfort and nurture.

By the time Mark and Donghyuck make it back to the dorm, Jisung’s called Chenle over, the maknaes cuddled together whispering on the couch. Jeno’s still standing right where they left him, eyes hooded, forehead to forehead with Jaemin, who’s hissing something intently at his boyfriend, voice low and continuous as he rubs Jeno’s forearms soothingly up and down. He glances over when Mark walks into the dorm, still murmuring unceasingly, and the relief in his eyes strengthens Mark’s resolve to figure out what’s happening.

He knocks on the door to Renjun’s room, ignoring how the very air seems to still. “Renjunnie,” he calls quietly through the wood. “It’s Mark.”

The silence is stifling.

“Renjun-ah, I’m going to come in now, okay?” He eases the door open and edges inside.. At first glance, the unlit room looks empty, and Mark wonders if Renjun had ran away from the dorm somewhere, but then he hears a broken sniffle from the corner between the bed and wall and hurriedly steps over.

His teammate is wedged in the tiny corner, knees jammed up to his forehead, face hidden beneath a mop of dark hair. At the sound of Mark’s approach, his arms squeeze tighter around himself, and regardless of what’s happened, something in Mark’s chest stings at how small and pitiful he looks.

“Injunnie-” He calls softly before abruptly breaking off at Renjun’s violent flinch. Shit, that was the nickname Jaemin used the most often.

“Renjun,” Mark tries again. The boy in question finally looks up at Mark, who’s given up awkwardly cramming into the gap to get close to Renjun and instead just sits cross-legged at the foot of the bed, one hand clumsily reaching out to the younger.

Renjun’s eyes are swollen from crying, so puffy Mark’s not sure how he can see, but after a small whimper, Mark finds himself with a lapful of sobbing boy, small hands twisted tightly in his shirt and tears and snot in the crook of his neck. As Mark tries to shift them to a more comfortable position, Renjun clings tighter, the explanation coming out in bits and pieces through his sobs, a story of a floundering boy who was hiding so much hurt.

“-m-maybe everyone was right, Jeno and Jaemin just have this bond together and m-maybe it was stupid of me to think that I could add anything to it, I guess?” Renjun’s voice wobbles, and he rubs roughly at his eyes. “And I’m not stupid, I know I’m just being insecure and childish about it, and I’m definitely stronger than all of this right now, but it just _hurts_ ,” he chokes out, and Mark can’t think of anything to do but rub large circles into his back.

Mark’s never totally understood how all three of them manage, clumsily trodding on each other’s boundaries with such loving cheer, but they’re always happier together, and in Mark’s opinion at least, that’s all that matters.

“Do _you_ want to break up with them?” Mark questions carefully, but Renjun is already shaking his head so furiously his entire body trembles.

“I just… I was pushing them away because they don’t need me,” he whimpers into Mark’s collar. “They can be just as happy without me.”

Mark’s arms tighten around Renjun. “Junnie, did they seem happy without you?”

Renjun shrinks further into the older boy, who’s sure they’re both thinking of the two waiting tensely outside. “No,” he replies quietly.

“So what happened?” Mark prods gently, pushing Renjun’s bangs back from where they’ve been crushed against his forehead.

The story comes out haltingly amidst continuous full-body shivers that persist no matter how many circles Mark rubs into the younger’s back. “I was watching some of the f-fanmade videos,” Renjun replies, voice too broken to speak above a whisper. “And some of the comments…” He trails off, each huffed breath tripping over the next.

It’s true that Jaemin and Jeno have an unspoken bond, the kind that snap into place naturally when so many shared experiences just happen, and Mark can understand why sometimes its exaggeration tends to drown out all the other equally prevalent camaraderie. His own relationship with Donghyuck is convoluted enough that it’s easily misinterpreted and knocked out of scale often enough. But what both he and everyone else sees, something that Renjun seems to have forgotten entirely, is the sheer adoration both Jeno and Jaemin have for Renjun, an affection that’s almost intimidating in its multitude and equally, _fiercely_ , reciprocated by the younger boy.

“Maybe people are right,” Renjun breathes out where only Mark can hear. “They look better together. I’m just the odd one out.” But he’s wrong. Mark _knows_ he’s wrong with every fiber of his being.

It’s in the way Jeno always walks behind Renjun wherever they go, rushing ahead at the last minute to pull a door open or hold a backstage curtain aside for the smaller boy, the way Renjun lets both of them tug and grab at him all the time, faking irritation but leaning into their touch, the way the other two look at Renjun like he hung the moon in the sky, the way they finally pass out from exhaustion curled tightly around each other even when they’re squabbling, limbs sprawled every which way under a blanket too small to cover all three of them at the same time. It’s in the way that even now, even when they are unraveling farther than Mark ever thought they could, Jaemin is hovering right outside the door, one hand entwined with Jeno’s, the other trembling around a glass of water for the crying boy.

“Renjun-ah,” Mark says lowly to the boy in his lap, eyes never leaving Jaemin even when Renjun’s knees jab further up into his ribs. “Do you think that’s what they think of you?” Jeno’s gaze over Jaemin’s shoulder is locked onto their boyfriend, bottom lip caught tight between his teeth.

“Maybe… maybe that’s what I think of myself,” comes the muffled reply into Mark’s chest and Jeno’s sharp intake of breath slices through the stagnant air, heralding their presence.

“Renjun,” Jaemin croaks, and _oh_ , hearing a given name from the younger has Renjun curling up tighter into himself. “How could you _ever_ believe that?” His stare never leaves Renjun’s back as he approaches, tugging Jeno forward with him.

Renjun slowly shifts in Mark’s grasp until he’s facing his boyfriends, tears welling up anew. Mark can feel him tangibly strain towards them after days of avoiding the other two. “I’m s-so so sorr-”

“Don’t apologize, please.” Jeno swiftly steps out from behind Jaemin, kneeling in front of the bed to wipe away the little pools underneath Renjun’s eyes. “We should-” His voice cracks, and he tries again, Renjun’s face cradled in his hands. “We should have realized.” But Renjun is already shaking his head furiously, even as Mark gently lifts him off his lap and scoots away so Jaemin can edge in and give him some water.

“I shouldn’t have a-avoided you guys,” Renjun gasps out, acquiescing to the gentle nudge of the glass against his lips.

“We love you,” Jaemin murmurs fiercely, the strength in his voice mitigated by the tenderness of the thumb rubbing against the nape of Renjun’s neck. “We love you _so much_.”

The last thing Mark sees before quietly closing the door is the three of them tangled up together once again, Jaemin crooning tender nothings into Renjun’s shoulder, Jeno winding himself even closer against where he’s feathering kisses onto Renjun’s knee. Renjun half-sobs, half-laughs, but it’s light, his voice filled with relief, and he has a hand entwined with each of them.

“I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> sorry about this one. yell at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/hurricane_ivy) or in [cc](https://curiouscat.me/hurricane_ivy)


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